Official SEVICS website falling-2245869_960_720 SUICIDE - Why I have chosen... Lifestyle  suicide SEVICS Nigerian youth life and death

I have been in situations where it seems the weight of the whole world is on my shoulders. At times my head feels heavy as if laden with the weight of two hundred storey building. As if the air I breathe in is as toxic as corrosive acid. I remember an incident involving acid, fire and a table. I feel those flames burning my heart every time and I feel my lungs wriggle in pains while the air gushing forth is as hot as molten magma erupting from the earth’s crust. I feel life ebbing out of me each time I step out to face each day. I feel the walls of the world collapsing and engulfing me in its ruins. Oh, how I wish I would be swallowed up never to return. I pass through the gravesides and I feel; oh those who lie within are far better than me, I wish to be like them. How else would that happen if not suicide? The sniper (insecticide brand that has suddenly become notorious for facilitating many suicides) in the room now has such a pleasant scent and I can imagine it tastes like honey. Oh, what a sweet taste to depart with. The ceiling fan and the rope from my clothes hanger now seem like a good combination and me dangling underneath both would make a beautiful sight. It would be just fun and I may feel like I am swinging to join those gone before me.

But then I stop just for a brief moment…

What would the great beyond look like? Will there be light? Will there be warmth? Will there be laughter and mingling? I cry that I am unloved here; will there be anyone to love me there? I lament for not being appreciated here; will anyone appreciate me there? I cry when I fail my grades here; will there even be an institution there for me to attend? I cry that I am broke here; are there riches awaiting me there? I cry for a lack of opportunities here; is there any opportunity waiting for me there? I cry that my parents and everyone else do not understand me here; will I even have any parents there or anyone else for that matter, it may be total isolation. What if death is just a total state of darkness with no air, no light, and no essence?

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On second thought, what if there is life after now, beautiful, sweet and lovable, I will definitely love to live there. But will I be welcomed if I arrived without invitation or notice? Whose beautiful house would I stay when I haven’t lived long enough to build one. What if I am treated with scorn as a leprous one because I had wished myself death? What if they treated me worse than I already feel now, then where would I run to, certainly I cannot return back to this world. How come no one has ever returned to tell us the tales of what goes on over there. Many have toiled the path I am contemplating but no news has ever reached me from there. I have heard tales of old men who want to remain in this world afraid to walk that path. They may have good reasons for wanting to remain here despite their old age.

I think I know what to do now. I must speak with these older ones, in fact, anyone who cares to listen to me. Then I must find the essence of my being in this world. I must look at the poor beggars on the street who have nothing, yet struggle to live each day and find meaning in life. To look at the man who lost his job with a large family and responsibility to take care of, yet goes out each day to find a means of survival.  In the end, I must learn to survive by myself. I must see the constantly divorced couples who find love often to remarry and know that love is at my fingertip, I only have to reach out. I must know that life is cruel and has killed me a thousand times from which I resurrected but I am not as cruel to kill life; my life; because it is just one and can never resurrect once it’s dead. Suicide is never the option.

37 thoughts on “SUICIDE – Why I have chosen…

  1. The struggles of this life can be so tiring, but still, positive living and hope for more to come, for better days ahead, for sweet dreams, keeps one going. Suicide should never be an option.

  2. There is no way suicide can ever be an option, think about it, if one commits suicide the person died with that problem, meaning you’re a complete loser, no matter what the case may be if you cancel the thought of committing suicide you have already solved one problem so there is a possibility that the other problems will fade away with time and only when you have life you have time.

    1. very correct. we keep negative mindset about our situations most times that is why we do only negative things. thanks for sharing this awesome thought. do keep up with us by subscribing to our website for updates about recent posts.

  3. It is the responsibility of our religious leaders to keep enlighten their follower’s about the danger of committing suicide. Is never an option to depression, it is important to always look at those below u not above u in order to appreciate what God has done for u.

  4. suicide is never an option . when we face the storm of life , we should kneel down and call on God through prayers , sweet melodys songs for directions and wisdom to overcome that phrase .

  5. For me, the problem or causes of Suicide is more than you have enumerated. No normal human being would want to die or take his or her own life. I look at people committing suicide as a Psychological or spiritual problem. Something like a demonic oppression or manipulation. It is not a normal human behavioral act. It is as a result of the disorder of the mind or mental faculties of an individual. Just like Madness or one going biseck, it is an act done under demonic influence. Every living creature struggles to live at the point of succumbing to the powers or forces of death. You are not happy to die. Anyone that contemplates suicide needs prayers for deliverance. He or she is not normal. He or she is suffering from an antihuman behavior he needs help from the Father of all spirits.

    1. i agree with your submissions and appreciate you for sharing this very insigntful realisations. further more i feel psycho therapy could also go a long way in helping victims prone to commiting suicide. thanks for sharing your thoughts

  6. Really want to commend your effort put together for this meaningful and inspiring article. Committing suicide is not an option for any person to undergo. No matter the pain of life. Because, man’s disapproval and condemnation is God approval. My brothers and sisters, what are your situations in life, hatred, isolation, mistreated and rejection stay focus to Jesus alone the author and finishers of our faith thanks.

    1. thanks very much for your commet. i feel in a country like ours where there is high level of religiosity, people should continue to hold on the their belief in a higher being who loves and cares for them, that way pressure and depression can reduce.

  7. Yes, travails of life abound, yet as life goes on, so too should our hope remain inexhaustible. Thanks for the message.

  8. Yes, travails of life abound, yet as life goes on, so too should our hope remain inexhaustible. Thanks for the message.

  9. Thanks for the article,Committing suicide is not an option to whatever challenges we might be going through in life.

    1. Nice Article…

      Would go miles
      Could save some.
      I hope it does for life is sacred.
      If our life is not ours to give,
      Our life shouldn’t be ours to take!

  10. Suicide is never an option!
    It is true that our society, leaders,clergy men and mentors has failed us but never think of committing suicide because it’s never an option.
    Desperation for wealth, fame, immorality and other things of the world are the common factors that can lead to it!
    We must realize that all is vanity
    We must learn to appreciate God for the little and strive to get more!

    1. yes you are right, i feel our religious leaders need to do more work in encouraging young ones on paths to follow. Having faith in God to change the situation while working on it too can help to reduce depression.

  11. I use to think that those who commited suicide were manipulated from the spirit realm probably from village pple who don’t want to see the person progress but now I see it more as a deliberate act. Depression yes, but more out of curiosity and oversabi. How does failing an exam in this Nigeria where extension in school is now almost a norm, drive one into depression to the extent of committing suicide? .
    My advice to those contemplating suicide write now is ” Sucide does not make your problems go away, it only shifts it to your loved ones”. Think about it deeply

  12. Ur thought and analysis is quite commendable.but suicide is never an option if u ask me. But this trend is more common with the western world.for a genuine Christian one ought to cast he or her burden on the lord nd not suicide ur life after is more important. To help curb this our religion heads should enlighten their congregations more.so far well done

  13. I think that value to life is the main key.
    Anyone who values life would never take a life, even his/her own. And the mindset of knowing that we’ve all got a purpose and working towards finding that purpose and living it, will definitely help our current situation.
    These pockets of suicide happening all over is not a good sign at all. If we all decide to take the easy way out then there will be no one else left. Things are difficult we just gotta keep striving.
    Also, the belief of after life, should even scare anyone from taking their own lives.
    Beautiful piece Jenifer. Keep it up.

  14. I will I must say you wrote it with lots of empathy
    I have some questions and they are as follow
    What are the causes of suicide?
    How does one know that one might be about to commit suicide?
    What can be done to reduce the rate at which this suicide thing is multiplying. I opened my Instagram today only to see a 300L student drown himself for failing MBBS examination

    1. Contemplating suicide is simply an indication of a state of waste, zero value….a state of complete hopelessness.

      It is an unfortunate position.

      The way out is to discover your purpose in life early and pursue it with all zeal and zest. People must realize that failure is not the end but rather an opportunity to do it better.

      We should never expect the society or family to clap for us when we don’t “meet up”.

      The drive to achieve is personal.

  15. I must say you wrote this with lots of empathy.
    I have some questions and they are as follow
    What are the causes of suicide?
    How does one know that one might be about to commit suicide?
    What can be done to reduce the rate at which this suicide thing is multiplying. I opened my Instagram today only to see a 300L student drown himself for failing MBBS examination

    1. Thanks alot. In my opinion the only cause of suicide is one has lost the essence of living. Depression could be a factor to determine this.

      I also feel that those who commit it do not consider their capability in doing so, all they are interested in is that they don’t want to live anymore and therefor any means possible to leave this world would do and just Cases suicide is the answer.

      What I feel can be done to reduce it includes
      *for every one to have a feeling if self worth
      * to stop living to meet up with other people’s expectations especially our parents
      * to stop comparing ourselves with others
      * to avoid isolation when feeling depressed or frustrated
      * to seek help from someone who can listen to us
      On our part as general people
      * to be supportive and not criticize anyone who fails whether in grades in business or even in love
      * parents to stop mounting pressures on their children and expecting certain standards from them
      * parents to stop imposing life choices on their children
      * to listen to smone who has an issue to share
      * to refer suspected cases of Depressed persons to family friends and peer groups for support and counseling

      I also think young persons should mind how they fall in and out of love and maintain balance while they do so to avoid heartbreak and depression.

  16. Thanks for this wonderful article. A lot of time we concentrate on the things that we couldn’t achieve paying less or little attention to the good things that has happened in our lives. Suicide is really not an option no matter what challenge we might be facing at a time.

    1. You are right. Often times we fail to realise that there is light at the end of the tunnel and we might just be at the spot past the middle towards light when we give up. Also life happens to make us stronger for the next phase. Suicide is never an option

      1. Nice writeup. People need to have their hopes renewed everyone should realise that we owe each the duty to be kind with our utterances.

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