How to build the right relationships

A person is an extension of his immediate environment. This is because all things in nature interact with each other and have influence over each other. Many people hate to admit that they can be influenced because they are ignorant of this fact. All human beings are easily influenced. Therefore, it is important to take into account who and what each person allow themselves to interact with. Whatever you have in your space or immediate environment determines what you eventually become. That reinforces the need to build the rights relationships.

People have different values. Find them

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Each person in the world stands for a set of values. These may be due to their upbringing, genetics or other socializing factors. Some people can be a very good influence on your behaviors, your studies or career. Others just leave you confused and wondering what the next step to life should be. Your first and most important task in life is to identify a person’s values. Seek to discover what they stand for and how these align with your own values. This can be easily determined in two simple ways:

Tip 1: Ask

Most people love to talk about themselves more than they enjoy listening to others. So, a direct question will always provide a great result. Simply ask a person about their future, plans about school or leisure. From their responses, it would be easy to tell what a person loves to engage in. Asking directly is often underrated because a person might lack the confidence to ask direct questions. Direct questions may seem too invasive.

Some people chose to ask other persons. This may not always produce the best results because you cannot know a person more than they know themselves. Second, the person reporting about someone else may not be very honest for personal reasons. If this must be employed, the person you ask for information about someone else must be in a position to give reliable information such as a teacher or other responsible adults.

Tip 2: Observe

While it is great to ask a person about themselves, it is often better to observe what they do. This is because a person’s actions most accurately reflect their true behaviors and inclinations. Similarly, the way people act is not always consistent with what they say. So, a person could claim that he hates food simply because he appear slim but has gluttonous habits. Know that a person may not tell the truth about a behavior or habit if they consider it embarrassing.

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We live in a world where most people pretend to be something they are not. This is based on the ideology that in order to become who you want to be, you must change who you were born to be. Unfortunately, most of these people never try to discover who they truly are and end up living a fake life.

The good news is that a person’s true nature and intents will always show through the façade. Therefore, if you patiently observe people, you will learn the truth about them. Place your observations above what you hear. They are often quite accurate.

When a person’s words reflect in their actions, they can be said to have good values. People of good values are to be treasured.

 Forming the right relationships

There are a thousand and one values that can be considered good. But every good value is not good for you. The reason for this is that it is easy to lose focus on your dreams. Some people have abandoned their dreams because of the people they have in their lives. For instance, many parents have strong opinions about their children’s future career. Some parents insist and ensure that the children joined a certain career without caring what the child truly wants.

You can get the best possible results if you align yourself with supportive people who understand you and with whom you have shared values.

When you have encountered a person, whose values do not complement yours, limit the relationship. Where a person has values that are like yours, then you have found the right relationship; nurture it. At times when you must deal with older persons whose relationship with you cannot limit, then negotiate. Find more information on this in the article on negotiating with adults.

Michael Ukwuma

Michael Ukwuma

Michael is a Project Manager with years of experience in nonprofits and managing startups. He shares what he has learnt over time with like-minded persons. He gives classes to persons who plan a future in the nonprofits sector or as entrepreneurs.

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