How to break from a relationship

It might be to that point where things do not seem to have a headway in a relationship. Have you thought about breaking up?

Now you may think I’m some angel of bad news, but nothing is as bad as enduring a bad relationship. Let us get somethings straight, dating someone is not the same as being married to them, those are two different things. We are talking about people who have not bound themselves up in matrimony. At this point, you like the person so much to want to be in a relationship with them. As with most things in life, none last forever.

You might not be happy with your partner, you feel abused, exploited or you have a change of mind about the relationship, it is not going to be easy to break up that relationship. This doesn’t mean you will keep on in the relationship; it’s best that a breakup occurs. We would like to explore some ways people can end such relationships while avoiding a likely backlash.

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For some persons, a decision and outright pronouncement is made and the relationship is over. They go away and move on. For others, it is a more delicate matter. It takes months of preparation and planning. For such persons, it would be best to perceive breakup as a journey and for which I would like to suggest the following points.

1. Reflect

Think clearly about this decision and how you would like to do it. I mean, the words to say and how you say them. Do not be irrational or sentimental, it is a decision about the heart.

2. Choose a location and meet with them.

This is important, so both of you can meet. If you are worried about safety (because some partners can become emotional and harmful) do it in a public place. You can go with someone if it makes you feel safe.

3. Do it physically, in their presence.

This is important as it gives you some psychological strength to move on. Also, it confers on you some dignity and respect and it shows respect for the other person. This isn’t a declaration of a Cold war. Do not text or ask a friend to do it, do it in person.

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4. Speak plainly.

Do not use ambiguous statements or go around in circles. Tell the person what is on your mind so as to avoid passing the wrong message. Don’t say ‘… let us just be friends…’ or ‘… let us take a break…’ Call it what it is.

5. Be resolved.

Stick to what you have decided to do. It is understood that it is not an easy decision. But remember, not all things which matter in life are easy. There will be moments when you wish you haven’t done it, miss the person or feel too much pain that you want to undo what is done. If you want to move on, stand by your word.

 

6. Seek support.

Seek it from friends and close family members. Not all of life’s burdens should be borne alone; cry, listen to music, stay with friends and do fun things. This way, moving on is easier.

Do not continue to in that relationship if it becomes a burden. Such relationships have been implicated as a cause of depression and suicides. Look on the bright side and make a move. After the breakup, do not feel bad, depressed like you are the worst person on earth. Pick up and move on. Seek support from friends and family who understand and keep believing. You can find love again!

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